MY LIFE AS A SINGLE MUM EPISODE: 3 when you are caught right in the act,it feels like a cat has imprisoned your tongue making you speechless. it feels wow to lie but the guilt and remorse that kicks in afterwards can kill you.if you will have a chance to meet the super Biblical disciple Peter he will tell you what he felt when he denied knowing Christ thrice.maybe he thought they would crucify him along. shame . the beating I got on that day made me doubt if that man was indeed my father. did I come from his loins? no way. remember I am still telling you how I became a single mum. after I caused so much strain between my parents I was sent to Lilongwe to a distant uncle to my Mum. i was very excited to go to the city yet I was nervous to start staying with people I never heard of my whole life. I felt like a slave who will never return. the moment I arrived I sensed that the madam of the house was not into the idea of my stay too bad her husband had a final say. this woman was dark skinned and fat no wonder people say our ancestors were apes if you don’t believe watch the dawn of the planet of the apes.nxaah no wonder she was stone hearted. it wasn’t an easy stay because the only thing I was happy about was going to school without first going to the fields. this woman I called Aunt grace wasn’t about to treat me like royalty .they could have renamed her Aunt Hitler sure. I turned to be her maid 24/7 who took care of her three squirrels she called kids. “wangu wash the dishes” wangu take the kids to school before you start washing and make sure dinner is ready when I am back from Ma chifundo’s house” most times the husband would shout to leave poor me alone. but she would pinch my ear and say “your witch mother sent you to snatch my husband but I will show you that they don’t call me die hard for nothing.” I would cry for days. men one day sneak to the kitchen when your wives are alone with maids or your younger relatives, you will see the chuck Norris sides of your dear wives. the results of puberty were catching up fast with me but it wasn’t my fault. I knew that the man was the devil himself when he became apparent of my blooming body.the suggestive looks he fired me with made me realise how some of these men are not loyal. One day madam hitler went to a funeral at night.surely I am against some of our African culture are long overdue.you give the devil a chance of a life time when the women attend funerals at night in the name of consolation.should we say we are the most compassionate than our English counterparts? kaya but ku maliro komweko ena amapitira tea, kuliza nkonono and kutamba kkkkk talk of multi tasking yooh. he came to my room and started touching me in a way I didn’t like. “Shh just be quite .I will buy you sweets and nice dresses. “don’t you like ribbons? ” his big belly was bare and that frightened me. my pleas to leave me landed on deaf ears as he locked the door and advanced to the corner I was shielding myself. he grabbed my arm and threw me on the bed as he opened the zip of his trousers. all I could do was cry Tbc EPISODE: 4 The pain razoring my body was threatening to send me into unconsciousness. I could feel myself drifting between two worlds . fear & shock paralyzed me. This man robbed me of my innocence and he was calming and threatening me as if it was going to change anything. I cried loudly and angrily packed my few belongings ready to go. where? I didn’t even care anymore because it was useless but my guts stood up and told me that this house was no longer a safe haven and it hadn’t been for a long time. even if I had to wait for the madam to come back and narrate my predicament, she would have probably said I shamelessly s£duced her husband. Dawn was approaching fast and that was the beginning of a new chapter of my forsaken life. I loathed this man with an intensity of the depth of hell and that broke the dyke of respect I had for the strong sex. I was Fourteen and knew nobody who could help. I walked for a long distance and found myself in town from Area 24. those who know the place can agree with me that its a long distance from the dusty Ngwenya. I sat down in Lilongwe bus deposit and cried. there were few buses around . If I could ,I would have flown over to my home in Nkhatabay right into my mother’s arms and unleash gallons of tears habouring my eyes. I missed her so much and whoever said mother’s are the best knew exactly what they meant. I felt betrayed by my parents for selling me out to that devil of a man like a cheap slave. “hey what are you doing here all alone?” a strange voice brought me to the real world. I looked at her, she was so old and frail. if I was in the village my reaction would have been so dramatic. shame how old people are accused of witchcraft.maybe people don’t want to see the grey haired? why not when God Himself the giver of life has blessed them with many years on this earth. I wiped my tears with the bad of my hands, nobody wants to be caught unawares crying. “you are so young yet you look as if you have the troubles of the world on your small shoulders. what is wrong? ” I didn’t want her into my business but there was something trusting about her,almost comforting. “I am so hurt right now and so cold. I don’t have anywhere else to go and no money for my transport home.” fresh tears started. I felt her arm patting my back. ” why don’t I take you to my place then you can tell me everything and how I can help you? ” she helped me pick my bag and we set off. we passed by Nantipwili filling station and the mosque.then we walked our way up until we were at the bus depot opposite Lilongwe Church of Central African Presybetarian. it was so quite but soon a minbus going to Area 23 via Kawale came. the conductor shouted as if the place was filled with people wanting to board the bus. I thought so hard,whoever said angels do not exist on earth should have seen this woman. who was she and what use was I to her? I have heard of people who use others’ private parts. I didn’t want to be a willing donor to their trade. we travelled for an hour before she told the conductor that we were dropping off at chiwoko school. we walked at a path around the school and found her one bedroomed house .she lived with her granddaughter who used to be home twice a week. what she did, she had no idea but it was enough to bring food on the table. how long I was staying,I didn’t know. *sigh * as I drifted into a deep slumber to be continued